Fractured Essence Shard: The Simmons’ Story
From elation to grief, signing the line was rife with emotional turbulence. Leila’s hands trembled as she prepared to press the pen to paper. She had met Robert Simmons by chance. They both frequented the same used bookstore and on that day, had been waiting in line to ask the shop owner about a particular title. By happenstance, they had been in search of the same title.
Being a gentleman, Robert had allowed Leila to gain the merchant’s assistance first. However, when he heard her ask for the title in which he was interested, he decided to follow as the bookseller led her to the expected shelf location. Upon reaching the correct place, Leila complimented the storeowner on his thorough knowledge of the shop’s contents and smiled as the man bowed slightly and turned to walk away.
After the helper was out of sight, she turned on the Robert demanding to know why he was following her. She was careful not to let her voice waver as she informed him that she was not someone that he would find easily threatened. Robert was taken aback, raising his hands palm out in front of himself to show that he was not, in fact, there to bother her. “I was just looking for the same book. I heard you ask for it and thought I’d follow you rather than ask the same question when he got back to the counter.”
Leila was unsure whether or not she could trust the man’s response. The warmth and kindness in his eyes was quite disarming, and the gentleness in his voice was calming. It was completely out of the norm for her, but she felt as though she could not only trust him, but that he might be someone with whom she could easily loose track of time.
Seeing her relax slightly, he offered to buy her a cup of coffee at the shop around the corner where they could “talk about their shared interest.” She found herself agreeing and hoping that they had more than one interest in common. It turned out that they really had a lot in common; from culinary taste, to types of books and movies, and even as far as career goals.
After that fortuitous first meeting, they became inseparable. Leila and Robert whipped through a picturesque whirlwind 7-month courtship before she agreed to become his one and only. A short five months later they were at the altar agreeing to love each other unconditionally and eternally. Her hands had shaken then, too, as he had slipped the ring onto her finger and accepted the same from her.
Two years flew by before the Simmons’ twirling world came to a slow spin with the pregnancy that delivered Amber to them. She was named for the beautiful fossilized tree sap that trapped proof of the past. To their minds, the child was like amber, locking the times of their greatest joys and love in her body. She was Amber.
Fast-forward four years. Robert and Leila were struggling to make their work schedules work around their home life. As nurses, they both found themselves utterly exhausted after a long twelve-hour shift. Physically and emotionally drained, it was difficult to provide the support that the other required. Slowly, they drifted apart in search of something more.
When Amber turned six, her parents realized that they had to pull their relationship back together in order to be the system of strength that their daughter would need as she began her educational career. They mended their relationship, became stronger than ever. Their love for their daughter acted like a glue that was able to repair even the deepest of the rifts that they had allowed to form between them.
For the next four years, the Simmons were a storybook family. Amber received A’s in all of her elementary school classes. Robert and Leila reached a happy medium, learning to care for each other on the worst days and care for themselves whenever possible. The family ate meals together, sharing anecdotes about their days and laughing at each other’s experiences. When Amber started participating in the school’s afternoon sports activities, Robert and Leila would take turns going to cheer for her. Life was perfect.
One afternoon, when Amber was ten she was invited to go to a friend’s birthday party. She had spent the morning playing in the leaves with her best friend Paul and when she returned home covered in plant debris, her mother had rushed her into the shower. Finally ready, forty minutes late, Leila rushed Amber to the party in the neighboring subdivision.
Amber disappeared a split-second after she and her mother had arrived, leaving Leila to introduce herself to the friend’s mother. After quick introductions around the parents’ table, Leila quickly found herself feeling very much at home. Unfortunately, that comfort ended abruptly when one of the other mothers’ younger children came into the room.
The four-year old toddler was beautiful. Soft brown hair, bright green eyes, and a strong cleft chin were a magic combination that Leila had seen before. Exactly six years ago, Amber had looked exactly like that child. A boulder hit Leila’s stomach with a thud that she could have sworn the whole room had heard.
Keeping her cool, Leila stayed long enough not to draw attention to her sudden departure. She allowed Amber to stay for the opening of gifts and cutting of the cake. She even thanked the hostess graciously when she offered to send a piece of cake home for Amber’s father. When she finally managed to wrangle Amber and say goodbye to everyone, Leila was barely able to hold back the tears on the way home.
When she pulled up the driveway, Amber jumped out of the car to see whether or not her dad wanted the cake. She hoped he would let her save it for later. Finally alone, Leila could not hold back the tears any longer. Leila knew that she and Robert had been through a rough patch, but she had not realized how thoroughly jagged and harsh it had been. It had not even occurred to her that he had gone in search of emotional support in another woman’s arms. But the proof was plain to see in the face of the child.
That night, after she was sure that Amber was asleep, she asked Robert about his thoughts concerning their relationship during the period of time right before Amber had started school. It didn’t take much prodding to get him to admit to his dalliances. He swore that it only happened once and it had meant nothing. He had just been weak and needed to feel comforted. There was nothing he could have said that would’ve prevented their world from tumbling in on top of them.
It was in the middle of this discussion, with Robert in a fit of tears trying to beg for her forgiveness, that Leila heard a creak and saw a flash of pink nightgown. Later, Leila hated herself for snapping at Amber to get back to bed. She detested herself even more for having allowed the possibility that Amber would witness her parents arguing. It was that self-loathing and disgust with her husband that had changed the atmosphere in the household forever.
Now, almost twenty years later, Leila was once again signing on a line. Twenty years ago, the signature had marked the beginning of a new life as Mrs. Simmons. Today, the act signaled the end of Mrs. Simmons and the rebirth of Ms. MacDowell, mother of seventeen-year old Amber Simmons.